How to Write a Eulogy When Words Feel Hard

Writing a eulogy is an act of love. It is one of the most deeply personal and emotional tasks you may ever face. When a loved one passes away, finding the right words to honor their life and memories can feel overwhelming.

If you're struggling with where to begin, this guide will walk you through how to write a meaningful eulogy—even when words feel impossible.

What Is a Eulogy?

A eulogy is more than just a speech at a funeral; it's a chance to celebrate a life well-lived, share cherished memories, and offer solace to those grieving. Whether the service is held at a funeral home, a place of worship, or a private gathering, a heartfelt eulogy brings people together in remembrance.

Some families even include parts of the eulogy in the funeral notice, allowing those who couldn't attend to reflect on the words spoken. If the deceased had a funeral plan, they may have left specific wishes about who should speak or what should be said. Checking any pre-arranged funeral instructions can help guide your words.

Gather Your Thoughts and Memories

When emotions are high, starting can be the hardest part. If you're unsure what to say, begin by asking yourself:

• What made them special?
• How did they impact your life and others?
• What values or lessons did they leave behind?

Ask family and friends to share their favorite memories, and look through old photos, letters, or messages. These small moments will help you shape a meaningful tribute.

Structure Your Eulogy

A eulogy doesn't need to be long or formal. A simple, well-structured speech is easier to deliver and more impactful.

Start by thanking everyone for being there and introduce yourself and your relationship to the deceased. Then, share a personal story that best reflects their character. You might highlight their passions, their contributions to family and community, or the small ways they made life better for those around them. If they had a funeral plan, mention any specific wishes they had for their remembrance.

End with a quote, poem, or a reference to one of their favorite songs—something that reflects their spirit and offers a sense of closure.

Tip: Keep it short—most eulogies last 3-5 minutes.

Find the Right Words When It Feels Impossible

If you're struggling to put emotions into words, try these approaches:

• Talk to their photo and write down what you'd say to them. Then, refine it to fit your speech.
• Start with a single, most memorable memory and build around it.
• If words still escape you, use a poem, scripture, or a quote from their favorite book.
• Acknowledge your emotions. It's okay to say, "I don't know how to sum up a lifetime of love, but I'll try."

Deliver your Eulogy with Confidence

The key to delivering a loving eulogy when emotions run high is practice. Even if you feel confident in your words, nerves and grief can make it difficult to speak in the moment.

Read your eulogy aloud several times and adjust any words that don't feel natural. Practice in front of a friend or record yourself. On the day of the funeral, bring a printed copy or arrange for a backup speaker in case emotions take over.

Speak slowly and clearly, and pause when you need to. No one expects you to get through it without emotion. Even if you break down, that's okay—funerals are about love, not performance.

Tip: If speaking feels too difficult, you can ask the officiant or a funeral home representative to read your eulogy on your behalf.

Final Note

Writing a eulogy is not about perfection—it's about love. Your words, however simple, will bring comfort and help preserve the memory of someone who mattered deeply.

Even when words feel hard to find, your presence and effort mean everything.

Additional Support for Grief & Bereavement

Losing a loved one is never easy, and grief doesn't end when the funeral is over. If you need support, CruseBereavement Support offers free counseling, resources, and support groups to help you navigate this difficult time.